Day 7 a letter to the boy who crushed you

You’re an old soft warm bad habit

Like the way my sister sucks her lips

And the way i squint my eyes.

You remind me of my mama’s oxtail

Sweet and inviting

Filled with laughter and joys.

And smells of familiarity.

Something about you says welcome home

You’re an old soft warm bad habit.

Somewhere in between

my favorite boxers and frail blankie.

My favorite tea cup and favorite dish

You’re the place i cuddle in comfort and sob in pain

You’re the laughter in between shots

And the sickness in the morning

You are my beginning and ending.

And my knees have gathered dust from kneeling prayers

That echo in the loneliness of my rooms offering no answers or sense of comfort.

Where is my GOD??

And I've been carving your name unto unlit skies hoping that with every letter some kind of light will shine on me.

And I've been walking down memory lane but the path is riddled with thorns and broken glass so it hurts when I walk.

And dear, between my past and my present is a whole were my present should be. And you?

You are an old soft warm bad habit and we both know i should throw you away.