The Joy Scribbles

Although I’m perpetually single every year since forever a friend of mine asked what ideas I had for dates in Gaborone that didn’t include food. This single girl may not be having a valentine date, but I do have some dope ideas on how you can take your partner out for a little fun and different romance in this small city of hours. Some of these activities do cost a little bit of money however, remember that romance is not just about money but rather about thoughtfulness. For valentines my advice is to pick a gift or date that shows your partner you pay attention to them, listen to them, and put thought into making sure they are happy. This list does include some food ideas because my personal preference is to be well fed on dates. So, in no order, here are my valentine date ideas for 2018: 1. Bounceland Although the place is considered ideal for families, bounce land is a great active date idea for you and your partner. It’ll allow you both to get in touch with your inner child, ...

They're a number of love stories I've told but never ours. It's my favorite one.  Its the only one that ends without a sour taste in my mouth. The only one I still pray for. I pray for you. Did you know? Do you ever hear my prayers? I pray the way mother's pray for their children and women pray for their husbands. Prayer is a woman's best firearm is something my mother says. I don't think she meant for me to use all my Ammo protecting you. I don't think she meant for me to pray for you so hard. But, I find sanity in knowing that even in the moments when  I choose myself over loving you God will love you for me. In the moments when you would look to me look to him. I'm not nearly responsible to hold your heart in my hands without dropping it. I fear I already have, but I want you to know. All these years later, All these boys later, ' All these scars later, there's not a smile in the world that warms my heart more than yours....

My best friend says I have no idea how to fall.  He walks a bit too close when I've had at least 4 shots of tequila.  " you don't know how to save yourself. You're going to break."  he says.  And I don't know he is right until a boy says  " I don't love you as much as I used too"  And God I love him.  God I'm reckless.  I fall head first in love.  And I fall all the way apart.  And I break myself on people. 

Dear Darling, You have convinced yourself that there is nothing more to you than him. But I am here to remind you that he is the stale taste of overnight cigarettes and the heavy presence of vodka on a sunday morning. And you? You are the sun and stars. A whole Galaxy. A swirl of places I could hide myself in. He tried to set you on fire didn't he? He tried to burn down your barricades and when you didn't break he fed you love in the form of roses, wine, Brazilian weaves and luxuries you never needed. He tried to coax you out of your safe room, Didn't he? He tried to fatten you up with insecurities so there would be no space for self love in there. Why did no one tell him you were a volcanoe? And that no one had survived your erruptions? Why did no one tell him that broken boys can't love strong women? Didn't he know? Didn't he see you would break him? Didn't he see you were not the kind of horse that could be tamed? Cause I did. I saw it the moment yo...

Don't ask me to stay.  God don't ask me to.  I'm not sure I can say No and  I'm not the type of woman who makes a home out of boys without corrupting them.  I'm not the kind woman who can sit still.  I fidget a lot.  My eye wonders even more.  and I don't know if I still remember how to love a boy without breaking them. And God, you're beautiful. you're beautiful just the way you are  and I know you want to teach me how to make a home.  but no matter how many cakes I bake and casseroles I make  you'll never be enough.  because I have a never ending urge to love a lot more than people.  Maybe if you come with me I'll try harder.  Maybe if you give me a little space to leave, I'll come home to you. maybe, I can think of you as a place.  As a station my train needs to pass through  because if you make yourself a box to put me in  I will burn you.  I will claw at...

The first time he says he loves you,  you ask if he remembers when you were ten and your dog died.  If he remembers the hug he gave you.  He says yes.  You tell him that was the last time a hug put you together,  and you wish you guys were ten again because 17 is a terrible age to fall in love. 

I wanted to say I was falling in love with you. But I wondered why love would be described as Falling. Would I be like a fallen city? Knocked down barricades, burned down houses, broken women and children, dead men? Conquered? Am I a thing to be conquered? A Fallen empire? something long forgotten? Just a leftover version of myths someone proved correct? Hidden away in rubbles of old alters were he worships me or dusty history books. No one even reads history books any more. Or am I more like a tea cup? Fallen off a shelf while I dusted my mother's cupboards, shattered into so many pieces I swept up and hid in the Pit Latrine. I wonder if she will ever figure I broke it. Is that what will happen? Will I break if I fall in Love? Will someone sweep me up and hide me? Because I am falling for a boy and it feels a lot less like falling. A lot more like flying. Or floating.

I've been trying to scrub out the love letter you wrote in my heart.  New wounds open above the old, scratches and scabs turn into scars that never heel.  So I tried to bath them in liquor and hide them in sin, but I still remember that some time, 'long ago a boy told me he likes the way I sometimes cry at silly things like not being able to find my favorite ice cream.  I've tried planting things you do to annoy me over it.  like chewing your nails, snoring when you're drunk; smelling like red wine and Marlboro cigarettes and a hint of weed; like telling me you can't remember why you ever fell in love with me; like "come on baby you're not shining, shine for me". But nothing grew, Nothing but an annoyance that I sent you a text last night to which you replied "K". despite the fact that I said I love you.

On some days the rain begins with subtle hints and on other days it simply pours. But it always ends in playful rainbows, bright sunny skies, and clear white clouds. You, My darling are like rain. Your dark days are not the best of you. 

My daughter wants to know why they're no girls like her in her favourite Tv shows. So I told her she is special. The world doesn’t know yet that the prettiest woman has Kinky curls and cocoa brown skin. My daughter doesn’t get why magazines are filled with Bullets meant to kill little brown girls. Like jeans with no space for her curves. With pictures of a tiny bustier That her 32D breasts don’t fit without being vulgar. She wants to know why I she cannot wear shorts Without encouraging men to bust her lips and knock down her doors. My daughter wants to know who will save her. Who will love her melanin and kink. For some reason the answer she is looking for is not me. 

Dear Nyakallo, I wish God had given us both a little bit more strength to hold each other a little bit longer and a little bit harder. I love you. Terribly. and strongly. and I miss your face. Text me bish. :)

I am sorry. I was stubborn and young and broken hearted. Nothing good ever came from loving a broken soul. Nothing good ever came from trying to put together shattered glass. I am sorry I left pieces of myself lodged in your hands. I am sorry that I tried to wash the blood but only hurt you. I am sorry that when I could not remove myself from you I tried to sooth you with my poetry. I am sorry that he was still in every poem that I wrote. I am sorry that you met me when I was nothing but shreds of myself. ' I am sorry that my love for him suffocated you. That it wrapped itself so tightly around your throat that you felt his hands crack your neck. And you walk up from bed wondering if I would ever love anything else. If you were enough? I am sorry for all the times you tried to reach beyond my lips and I cried. And you did not know whether to hold me or leave me. Because my skin has began to burn itself in you. ' And you're realising I'm too hot to touch an...

And someone told me that the secret to greatness lies in my demons. That God created me to create. That in the beginning there was the word. and sometimes my demons crawl out of the corners of my mind. I can't sleep a night. Won't you find a little soul for me? A little beauty? A little warmth for me? Shed a tear for me? Cup of tea for me? Don't forget the Dash of Vodka. Darling... Darling... Its a bit dark in here.  A bit lonely sometimes but down here its quiet too. and my demons don't speak as much as they used to. No one told me death would be so peaceful. No one told me that cold skin means you don't feel. It's so quiet here. Í'm craving a ciggy though. It's just a little bit too cold.  too dark. but i really like the quiet.  you'd love it too.  Amy Winehouse for a zillion reasons 1. Because despite her troubles she was an artist. she respected her work always.she expected the best f...

I am trying to teach you not to hold on to boys that bury their troubles between your thighs. I am trying to teach you fierce. I don't know, maybe even strong. I am trying to teach you that if no one will warm your feet you have to wear socks. I am trying to teach you that you're worth more than 30 minutes of sweat and not even a five minute nap. I am trying to teach you that you don't have to love anyone back. That "it's complicated" is not "I like you" and everything before "but"is a lie. I am trying darling... But you're stuck in your ways you cry on shoulders that forget to text you back. and pay for drinks you never drink. I am trying to teach you that box never saved a man or fixed him. That your cooking never loved him. that your texts are an annoyance I am trying to teach you' that you are worthy of yourself darling. when will you learn? when will you know? Not to find comfort in mediocr...

                                                      African Divas

Thunder storms. Don't you wanna hold me tonight? I've got a fever. and I need some love tonight. Passionate and violent like thunder storms in the desert not the splatters they call rain in London. Declare your love as loud as the thunder.  Bright for everyone to see like lightning in clear skies How else can I love you? In whispers? Hidden behind doors? I want love. the loud and bright kind. like lightning and thunder. I want the violently passionate kind. so when I wake and see the rubbles I know it wasn't just a dream. 

When I was 5 my mother told me to punch till i drew blood. I didn't get why she was so mad. When I was 12 a man said I liooked sexy in shorts. I stopped wearing shorts. Or playing outside. I closed my legs, I sat like a lady. I wear shorts now. I walk at night. I drink tequila. I reject nice guys. Someone told me I was asking for it. I remembered then, my mother said... "when a boy tells you he owns you punch till you draw blood."

Number 1. Promise me that when our son asks you my faults you'll be honest and say loving you. That godesses shouldn't love men. You'll tell him I am a woman of fire, whose only chill is you. You'll tell him that I burn bright and you cool me down. and you're not sure if that's good or bad. Number 2  Promise me that when our daughter asks you'll give. Number 3 If ever my demons threaten to consume me. If ever I lock myself in a room crying. Do not leave me alone. Do not allow me to only listen to only my breathes. Whisper you love me. Number 4 If ever I wake up and say I want a nose job. Don't tell me I'm beautiful the way I am. I know. Number 5 But don't forget to tell me I'm beautiful. Number 6 Promise me that I won't be the last to know when you stop liking your coffee black with two sugars. Number 7 Promise you'll remember my birthday. Promise you'll love me then. Number 8 On the days you don't feel y...

hi... A follower requested a short story by me a while ago. here is what i have of Annie so far.  She put the cigarette to her mouth. Inhaled the minty smoke and breathed it out through her nose. “I’m Annie”. She squat down to put the cigarette on the floor exposing her sexy thighs and then stood up before stubbing it out with her leopard print heel. It crumbled, the filter still intact stained with lipstick.  “I’m not much of a smoker.” she said reapplying her pink lipstick. “One puff and I’m good. Probably a waste of money though.” Her biracial hair was tumbling away from the top knot bun and she was trying to pin it up. The sweat glistened on her long neck. “I like to dance. That’s why I’m all sweaty. I’m always dancing when I’m out. It’s ridiculous.” She slid through the club door, turned and called out “Dance with me”. He tossed his cigarette to the street and followed. Her slim figure slid through the crowd easily while he struggled to keep up. He kept his eye on ...

Dear Grandma I can't forget the day you said you'd see me in my dreams. Or the day my cousin screamed "Mampho o sule". And I'm trying not to cry but I cry so much man. I cry about everything. Did I cry this much before? Did you know I cry so much? I cry almost as much as I breath. Sometimes I have to hide behind my shades and hat. I just started drinking tea again. I'm not hurling it but I haven't tried the one you liked. It scares me. I have a baby sister. So I'm not a baby anymore. And sometimes I wish you'd gotten to see it. I miss you terribly. I wish you'd visit my dreams tonight. Love, Tshepo.