The Joy Scribbles

They're a number of love stories I've told but never ours. It's my favorite one.  Its the only one that ends without a sour taste in my mouth. The only one I still pray for. I pray for you. Did you know? Do you ever hear my prayers? I pray the way mother's pray for their children and women pray for their husbands. Prayer is a woman's best firearm is something my mother says. I don't think she meant for me to use all my Ammo protecting you. I don't think she meant for me to pray for you so hard. But, I find sanity in knowing that even in the moments when  I choose myself over loving you God will love you for me. In the moments when you would look to me look to him. I'm not nearly responsible to hold your heart in my hands without dropping it. I fear I already have, but I want you to know. All these years later, All these boys later, ' All these scars later, there's not a smile in the world that warms my heart more than yours....

Before I left everyone told me how much I would love it. How much everything about Cape Town reminds them of me. I loved it... The four days I spent in Cape Town made it so easy to love. She was loving and Sunny and Calm. Ever so calm. And she stretched into forever and I've never been more aware of how tiny I am than trying to see the difference between the beginning of the sky and the ending of the ocean. Everything about Cape Town is so me. From the way people walk everywhere, to how even the traffic sounds like song, to how very few people wear jeans. No one cares about anything beyond themselves. and I went to this place called The Waiting Room where people literally smoke weed in public on a roof and even though I don't approve or condone drug use I found that funny. Cape Town? Cape Town is a barefooted, dreadlocked, skateboarding, shorts wearing hippie. She is tanned and never forgets her shades or lip balm, sometimes wears bikinis as whole outfits, owns two german...