The Joy Scribbles

Don’t fall in love with me  I’m not quite sure I can resist the urge to break you. I’m not quite sure I can keep from hurting you. I’m not quite sure I can fit the mould. The barriers. The labels. The dreams they sold you about love. The healthy can’t understand the emptied and broken. You can’t understand. You won’t understand that sometimes I’m sad and it’s not because anything is the matter. But I like that you leave me alone when I am. Please Don’t fall in love with me. No matter how much I ask. No matter how much I beckon you with the warmth in my arms. Or the tightness between my legs. No matter how often I let you hold me afterwards. No matter how often I smile. Or stare at you when you don’t notice. Please don’t fall in Love with me. Even though its too late for me, its not for you. I love you too much to watch you fall in love with a woman that doesn’t know how to stay. Too much to watch the spaces between us fill with hate. I love you

She’ll do anything not to remember when they were together because it hurts too much to remember. So she sat down and wrote two letters. First she wrote about the love they shared. She wrote it all, from the first time she saw him to the moment he left to the weeks after. How he is everywhere, because they were everywhere. Even in her favourite restaurant and tub of bar one ice cream. It ends with “how do I live without him?” She burnt it. The second letter is Simple. “I don’t know happiness. I knew you. I’m sorry” They found it rumpled in her back pocket when they cut her body loose.