The Joy Scribbles

I should have said no. But you have always been my reason for terrible decisions. What is one more heartbreak to a shattered soul. You should have never asked. But I have always been your strongest temptation. But what is one more spoon to a half eaten soul.

My daughter wants to know why they're no girls like her in her favourite Tv shows. So I told her she is special. The world doesn’t know yet that the prettiest woman has Kinky curls and cocoa brown skin. My daughter doesn’t get why magazines are filled with Bullets meant to kill little brown girls. Like jeans with no space for her curves. With pictures of a tiny bustier That her 32D breasts don’t fit without being vulgar. She wants to know why I she cannot wear shorts Without encouraging men to bust her lips and knock down her doors. My daughter wants to know who will save her. Who will love her melanin and kink. For some reason the answer she is looking for is not me. 

I do not argue over dinner tables with anyone else. I do not let them unnerve me. I do not consider crying because someone has questioned who I am. I do not consider throwing glasses at anyone else. But goddamn it I want to wrap my fingers around your lovely throat and watch the air leave you. How dare you? How dare you forget that I can break you. What did you not learn? How did you forget that loving me is suicide. Do not dare me. Do not beg me. Do not tease me. Do not touch me. Do not tempt me to craddle you in my arms. To kiss your face and teach you my secrets all over again. It will end the same. When will you learn that you will not survive me.

I was nominated to do the book challenge. Apparently I just list 10 dope books I've read. Thank you Yaone for the recommendation. In no particular order. 1. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky 2. Half a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 3. Black Skin White Masks by Frantz Fanon 4. Tears of My Land by Kuela Kiema 5. Madam Speaker Sir: Breaking Glass ceilings ( Such simple writing, nothing spectacular but such a necessary book) 6. You are Not a Country Africa by Pius Adesamni 7. Saturdays are Gold by Pierre Van Roomayne 8. The whole Game of Thrones series by George " I type so fucken slow" Martin 9. Coconut by Kopano Matlwa 10. Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell