The Joy Scribbles

And someone told me that the secret to greatness lies in my demons. That God created me to create. That in the beginning there was the word. and sometimes my demons crawl out of the corners of my mind. I can't sleep a night. Won't you find a little soul for me? A little beauty? A little warmth for me? Shed a tear for me? Cup of tea for me? Don't forget the Dash of Vodka. Darling... Darling... Its a bit dark in here.  A bit lonely sometimes but down here its quiet too. and my demons don't speak as much as they used to. No one told me death would be so peaceful. No one told me that cold skin means you don't feel. It's so quiet here. Í'm craving a ciggy though. It's just a little bit too cold.  too dark. but i really like the quiet.  you'd love it too.  Amy Winehouse for a zillion reasons 1. Because despite her troubles she was an artist. she respected her work always.she expected the best f

I am trying to teach you not to hold on to boys that bury their troubles between your thighs. I am trying to teach you fierce. I don't know, maybe even strong. I am trying to teach you that if no one will warm your feet you have to wear socks. I am trying to teach you that you're worth more than 30 minutes of sweat and not even a five minute nap. I am trying to teach you that you don't have to love anyone back. That "it's complicated" is not "I like you" and everything before "but"is a lie. I am trying darling... But you're stuck in your ways you cry on shoulders that forget to text you back. and pay for drinks you never drink. I am trying to teach you that box never saved a man or fixed him. That your cooking never loved him. that your texts are an annoyance I am trying to teach you' that you are worthy of yourself darling. when will you learn? when will you know? Not to find comfort in mediocr

                                                      African Divas

I want us to head to the studio when she comes home.

I'm not difficult to love because I'm broken. Its not because its poetic. It's not because its dark. its not because I forgot myself in someone elses heart. I'm difficult to love because no one taught you to love women like me. I'm difficult to love because you don't know how to love fire. I'm difficult to love because you don't know how to fire walk. You don't know how not to burn, and I'm too many degrees intense for your skin not to blister. And I don't know how to be cooler. I'm not difficult to love. Some have loved me before. You just don't know how to love me.

Thunder storms. Don't you wanna hold me tonight? I've got a fever. and I need some love tonight. Passionate and violent like thunder storms in the desert not the splatters they call rain in London. Declare your love as loud as the thunder.  Bright for everyone to see like lightning in clear skies How else can I love you? In whispers? Hidden behind doors? I want love. the loud and bright kind. like lightning and thunder. I want the violently passionate kind. so when I wake and see the rubbles I know it wasn't just a dream. 

Jhene is good for the soul. I like her. A lot, besides "I do not feel the fear of falling..."

When I was 5 my mother told me to punch till i drew blood. I didn't get why she was so mad. When I was 12 a man said I liooked sexy in shorts. I stopped wearing shorts. Or playing outside. I closed my legs, I sat like a lady. I wear shorts now. I walk at night. I drink tequila. I reject nice guys. Someone told me I was asking for it. I remembered then, my mother said... "when a boy tells you he owns you punch till you draw blood."

Number 1. Promise me that when our son asks you my faults you'll be honest and say loving you. That godesses shouldn't love men. You'll tell him I am a woman of fire, whose only chill is you. You'll tell him that I burn bright and you cool me down. and you're not sure if that's good or bad. Number 2  Promise me that when our daughter asks you'll give. Number 3 If ever my demons threaten to consume me. If ever I lock myself in a room crying. Do not leave me alone. Do not allow me to only listen to only my breathes. Whisper you love me. Number 4 If ever I wake up and say I want a nose job. Don't tell me I'm beautiful the way I am. I know. Number 5 But don't forget to tell me I'm beautiful. Number 6 Promise me that I won't be the last to know when you stop liking your coffee black with two sugars. Number 7 Promise you'll remember my birthday. Promise you'll love me then. Number 8 On the days you don't feel y