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Heavy

Sometimes I hear your name in the silences when I pray. 
As though God is trying to say, "Its okay hold on to him"
I don't. I just let go.  
I breathe heavy. 
Heavy. Heavy. Heavy. Heavy. 
Only on some days. 
Only on the days when someone asks about us. 
Then, I breathe Heavy. 
Heavy. Heavy. Heavy. Heavy. Heavy.
So I stay in bed on those days. 

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