Why do you find the unavailable so alluring? Where did it begin? What went wrong? and who made you feel so worthless?…And what about the others that would do anything for you. Why did you make them love you until you could not stand it? And how are you both of these women – both flighty and needful? Where did you learn this, to want what does not want you? Where did you learn this, to leave those that want to stay?
" I wish there were places I felt safe to break in mote often. There are far and few. Sometimes between them I feel this swelling climbing up my throat and think this is it. Its too late to make it and so I crumble. Never forgetting that breaking is never beautiful. Its tears, blood and sweat. God I wish I wasn't so good at hiding my pain as poetry and prose. I wish I was better at planting confidence to grow into wings. But I plant doubt. I am mean to myself. I plant emptiness and so I never really become anything but an impostor. Nothing but an anxious shell of a pretender. Just an actress with a really good script for a strong woman. A brilliant one." I wrote this scribble in September 2017, a time in which my entire life felt like one big break. I was fragile and raw desperate for a place were I would be allowed to break in and where I would still be seen as a warrior even if I did. So when I did not find that place I decided to create it. One of the many goals I ...
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