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Alternates

The first time you realize you love someone you will be staring at them across a table. They will not notice you. They will be laughing or smiling. Or they will be reading a book with a crease in their forehead and you will ask yourself “How did I live my life without you?”. You will answer with “I never really lived.” You will breath in sharp and strong. The air will reach the bottom of your lungs and you will sigh heavily thinking “I love you”. And at that moment they will notice you. They will smile. 

You will not say it then. You will say it a month from now. Maybe you’ll be laying in bed and they’ll be playing with your hair. You’ll maybe whisper it “I love you.” If you’re lucky they’ll catch it and whisper it in your ear. If you’re unlucky you’ll scream it in the middle of an argument and they’ll stand there like a deer in the middle of a road. You will be the truck at High speed, Bright lights, Honking so they move. But they will stand there and you will slam the brakes and close your eyes. You won’t open them till you hear a thud. Then you will cry. You will drive home and tell your mom you broke someone. She will tell you that it won’t hurt so much in the morning. But it Will. It Will hurt. And you will stop to eat meat. Then stop to eat. Then refuse to drive. 


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